Two Tiaras and a Sword

Friday, September 16, 2011

She Would Have Been 72

She would have been 72 today. I really thought that she would live forever...maybe because she was always larger than life in my eyes. There was nothing, and I mean nothing, that she couldn't do. She had only a high school education, but she was very resourceful. She was an extremely hard worker, and she kept an immaculate house. She would do anything she could to help anyone who needed it. She loved her Lord, her family, and her church, where she served in many capacities, and took each job very seriously.

But more than all of that, she was my Momma. She wasn't perfect. She had her faults. But she loved fiercely, and was driven by a strong desire to please others.

Some of my favorite memories of her are: playing jacks on the kitchen floor; sharing a bowl of popcorn, or boiled peanuts; playing hours and hours of board games; her helping the missionary wife who needed a place to do her laundry; her sitting on the couch and making fried cornbread (yes, at the same time - you just had to be there); racing against her to see who could find the next find-a-word word on the list; laughing together; the night Daddy asked her, "What did you say?" and we laughed for hours; sitting on the porch talking; the night she killed the mouse; her playing Gestures in Pensacola; the day the possum in the garage scared her silly; her sitting on Daddy's lap in my brother's living room; her watching the oldest princess clomp around in her red heels, and then giving them to her, because she knew the oldest princess loved them so much; her playing in the leaves the Thanksgiving after Daddy died; her dancing with Marc on the boardwalk in Kemah; the next Thanksgiving when my sister and I bought white corn meal instead of yellow for the dressing, and tried to hide it from her by using yellow food coloring (it would have worked, too, if we hadn't told our brother about it); the trouble she went to to make a special costume for the young prince not just once, but again after he outgrew the first one; watching her help my kids make biscuits; her making shirts out of bags for my kids; how she acted like a kid again picking back and forth with her brother; the littlest princess taking some of her first steps to her; her frying bacon for the young prince...and the list goes on...

She has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I guess with her birthday coming up, and my Sister-in-law having a pair of her earrings fixed for me. I dreamed about her last Saturday night, which I rarely do. And in my dream, she was so alive. I actually woke up and the realness of her absence made me grieve for her all over again. There are days when I ache with wanting to pick up the phone and tell her things, or ask her questions. Sometimes, no matter how old a girl is, she still needs her own Momma. There are just some things no one understands like your Mom.

Of course, I know that she is much better off now, than she was during her last days here on earth. And I would never in a million years wish her back for that reason alone. And though I don't like the timing of her death, and the days I've had to live without her, I am more thankful, and appreciative of the days I had with her. And like I said before, she wasn't perfect, but she helped me to be the person I am today. I am who I am largely because of both her strengths, and her weaknesses, through which I learned valuable lessons.

She's been in Heaven for three years, seven months and 14 days...and most days, I miss her, but I do though...I miss her with every fiber of my being.

If you've ever lost a loved one, I'm sure you will understand. If you still have your mother, take a minute or two, or ten, and let her know how much you love and appreciate her. Be specific, and thank the Lord for every day He gives you with those you love.

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