Two Tiaras and a Sword

Saturday, February 24, 2018

It’s Broken - And I Can’t Fix It

It is about as broken as broken gets.  And I can’t fix it.

I do not like this realization I have come to recently.  I would still rather reside in the happy land of “Maybe If...”or “It is Possible That...”.  The land where, in my heart,  I try to make things work out, and physical realities and the free will of people I love all line up and “voila!” everything is back to normal.  There are smiles, and rainbows, and happy endings.  A place where people are happy with themselves and are kind and loving to others.

But my mind has had to give my heart a reality check.  And I’ve had to vacate the happy land of “Maybe If...” and “It is Possible That...” and move into the smaller tighter reality of “It is Broken.” and “I Can’t Fix It.”

Broken things make me sad.  I don’t like things that are broken.  I want them to be fixed, restored, and made whole again. I like happy.  I like smooth sailing and sunny days.

Storms and rough seas are not my cup of tea.

But as much as I want to fix things, I’m only good at easy fixes like bandaids and kisses, ice packs and treats, hugs and smiles, causing laughter, encouraging toughness, tenacity, and persistence.

And this brokenness, well, it's bigger than those quick fixes.

 I’m not an expert fixer.  I am definitely not a miracle worker.  I’m not good at broken bones, stitches, surgical procedures. I am not good at broken lives, broken hearts or wounded souls.

When serious broken happens, I have to call on an expert.  So, it is a good thing that I know one personally.  One that IS an expert on fixing bodies AND souls.  And He is just one call away.  Even better, when I call Him, He already knows what is going on.  He already has a plan, and He has already set things in motion to heal and restore.

He speaks gently and lovingly to my heart.  He tells me to “fear not.”  He calms the storm raging in my mind and heart, and restores peace to my soul.  He allows me to cry over the brokenness that I can’t fix, while He wraps His arms of love around me and assures me that He will fix it, in His time, and in His way.

Our family seems to be under attack from every side and and every angle these past few weeks.  Satan has been working hard to discourage us.  Fiery darts rain in from EVERY side.  The winds blow, and our ship is tossed.  From big issues with a couple of our cars, to little issues with the washing machine.  From broken phones (which are hard to fix from several hundred miles away), to the stairway falling from our attic entrance (which was fixed fairly quickly by the Young Prince who was assisted by My Prince).  From heartbreaking situations at church (bearing one another's burdens), to discouraging issues at work.  From loved ones facing health issues to loved ones facing seriously tough life circumstances.  From death in our extended family to broken relationships among those we love.  From putting out one "fire" to putting out three or four "fires" at one time.

The other day, I had had all I could handle.  I felt like one more thing, and I was going to lose my mind.  So I went to God's Word, to assure and encourage myself.  I posted a few Bible Verses with the declaration of Not today, Satan!  Not today!  And I decided to call it a day.  I laid my head down on my pillow, and before I could relax, my phone buzzed.  Before I could completely handle that situation, the phone rang with more disturbing news.  Needless to say, it was a long night. After a really long day. And the next morning picked up right where the night before left off. Another really long day, in a series of several really long weeks.  A whole lot of broken.  In a short amount of time.  With little - if any - reprieve in between.

But through it all, God has remained faithful.  He has not left us.   I do not know how people face life without Him.  I am beyond thankful that I know the greatest Fixer of all things.  He has it all under control.  I just need to rest in that assurance, and trust that even when I can't fix it, no, especially when I can't fix it, God can.  I was reminded in my Bible study class that God does not run from our "messy", but he climbs right into the boat with us and calms our storm.  And for us, He has done just that.  In each and every situation, He has been right there.  He has calmed each storm. Even when they came back to back to back.

Is everything resolved and restored?  Unfortunately not.  But (for now) all is calm.  We have actually had a couple of calm days in a row (Hallelujah!).  And when I look back at just how faithful and good God has been in the past, I know that I can trust Him with my future.  It is broken.  And I can not fix it.  But I rest in the assurance that I know The One who can.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

I AM the Weakest Link

I am a pretty average human being.  But there have been more days than not, lately, that I feel as though I fail more than succeed.  And it is not just at one thing.  It seems to be everything.  At home.  At work.  At church.  At friendships.  At everything.  I have tried to be extra careful and double check things, and yet, I still make mistakes.

I was mulling over a mistake I made the other day, when I heard in my head, in that very proper British lady's accent, "You ARE the weakest link!"  And my heart added in your family, in your circle of friends, in your workplace.

And then, maybe because I have been focusing on trying to be quiet, and to listen to God and what He says about the things I think...I heard in my head, "Yes, you ARE the weakest link.  But, that is not a bad thing.  Because in your weakness, My strength is made perfect."

And as I thought it over for the next few minutes, the truth hit home.  Right in the center of my heart.  I AM the weakest link.  And I AM okay with that.  I will gladly be the weakest link, if it keeps me from being dependent on myself, and keeps me running to the Lord.  I will gladly be the weakest link if it means that His strength shines through, and He is the one who gets the glory for any good that comes out of my bumbling and fumbling through life.

I know sometimes I get too caught up in trying to be perfect.  And let's face it, the pressure to be perfect in today's world is strong.  But when I am perfect, or perform perfectly, who gets the credit?  I do.  Yet when I am human and make mistakes, and something good comes from it?  Then God is the one who gets the glory.  I don't want the glory.  I want it to go where it belongs - to my loving heavenly Father.

II Corinthians 12:9-10 states: And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

I am okay with being weak, because it just proves all the more how much I NEED Christ.  It keeps me looking to Him, leaning on Him, and trusting in Him.  And there is no other place I would rather be.

Yes.  I am okay with being weak.  And I am not afraid to admit that I make mistakes and fail, because that is when my precious heavenly Father steps in and shows just how strong He is.  To God be the glory!

Monday, January 1, 2018


Do me a favor.  Stop for just a minute.  Sit still, and listen.  Just listen.  Think about what you hear.  It's okay.  I will wait.

So, what did you hear?  I hear the hum of the hairdryer as my daughter dries her hair.  I also hear the sounds of cars going by, and my two favorite men having a conversation downstairs.

For several months now, God has been working on my heart about picking my new word for 2018.  It started very subtly at first.  But the push toward this one word has become stronger and stronger in the past few weeks and days.  I thought about this word earlier in the year as I read books on the words we say and how we say them.  Thoughts of the same word surfaced more recently as I read about humility and how to have more of it in my life.  I thought about this word a lot and most recently as I pressed through the "busy" of the holiday season.

I asked my Facebook friends to humor me in a post yesterday.  I asked them to do as I asked you at the beginning of this blog.  To sit still for a few seconds and to share with me what they could hear.  I had about 30 different people respond.  Out of those who did respond, several mentioned hearing music, or the television, or the voices of loved ones.  Others mentioned things like ice makers, refrigerators, washing machines, and the sound of air from heaters.  Some mentioned husbands working or snoring.  Others heard the sound of loved ones helping someone.  Several mentioned the sounds that their pets were making.  But just as I had suspected.  No one mentioned the word that has been pressed by God on my heart. Well, one friend used my word to describe a sound that she heard, but no one only used my word.

We live in a noisy world.  There is activity and sound going on all around us constantly.  Did you know that noise is scientifically proven to raise blood pressure and stress levels?  My niece bought a game called Hearing Things.  It came with earphones for one player to wear while the other player read a phrase from a card.  The player with the earphones was supposed to try to figure out what the other player was reading from the card.  The earphones played a loud "crowd" type noise to keep the wearer from hearing what the other player was saying, and to cause them to depend only on lip reading skills to win the game.  Many of us had trouble getting past the distraction of the noise coming through the earphones in order to be able to focus on what was important - figuring out what the other player was saying - in order to win the game.

I think that Satan often uses noise to distract us from what is important.  I have read several articles on the benefits of just being quiet.  Many mention the health benefits.  One surprising benefit is that being quiet actually grows new brain cells - who knew!?!  And who of us would not benefit from new brain cells?  Quiet also helps with creativity.  Brain cells and creativity are a couple of things I feel I have been running short on for a few years now.

So, if you haven't figured it out by now.  My word for 2018, is quiet.  I plan to try to intentionally schedule some into every day.  I plan to quiet the noise around me.  I plan to "Be still" and "know" that He is God (Psalm 46:10).  I plan to tune out the world's noise, and to listen for what is important - His still small voice (1 Kings 19:12).

I also plan to work on quieting the noise within.  I'm really good at belittling myself.  I'm really good at beating myself up.  I'm really good at blaming myself.  I want to hear, and believe what God wants me to hear and believe.  I want to hear who He says that I am and soak it all in, instead of listening to the lies of Satan.  I want to hear His forgiveness and mercy instead of my self condemnation.  I want my identity to be in Him alone.  But to do this, I must quiet the noise within.

I also want to work more on being quiet myself. I do not have to say everything that is on my heart or mind.  I have tried to practice this lately.  I have amusingly found that others have plenty to say.  So when I am quiet, there is usually someone to fill in the void.  I want my words to have an impact.  I want to say things that matter.  I am working on quality, not quantity, when it comes to sharing my words and what is on my heart.

So, in my very informal Facebook survey, no one said that they just heard quiet.  But guess what I hear now?  Quiet.  Since I started writing, everyone else has left the house with things to do.  I am home alone getting over the flu.  And I hear quiet.  And since that is the word that God has impressed on me to be the focus of 2018, and has provided me with the opportunity to start now, I am going to take it.  My prayer is that you too, are intentional about adding more quiet to your life this year.

Happy New Year!  I pray that you grow closer to God this year than ever before!

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Thankful Thursday 11/23/17

Certainly not an exhaustive list, because there are millions of things to be thankful for, but these are some of the things that stood out this week.

*A sweet friend who helped us by watching the Youngest Princess

*Two awesome ladies who worked together and subbed for me 

*Safe travels

*An exciting day for the Young Prince

*A chance to see a sweet “frienb” and spend a little time together

*Another great friend who kept the Youngest Princess after school

*Safe travels home

*Time to catch up on laundry

*Steps taken for the future

*A great (long overdue) talk with the Oldest Princess

*A great day in the house of the Lord - worshipping, learning and growing with a great group of people.

*A dinner with good friends

*A fun time for The Youngest Princess

*Time together around the fire pit

*A warm home 

*Quiet time and a lunch date for my Prince and I

*Safe travels for the Oldest Princess

*An answer to prayer

*Chances to work on some of the things God is    speaking to my heart about

*Family time with all of my children 

*Strength, when mine is all gone

*Calls and texts and Facebook posts from family and friends that brighten my day

*Seeing my children practice discernment 

*Acts of service that show love

*A happy, blessed, family filled day

*Playing in the yard with the kids

*S’mores and fire pits 

For all these things, and many many more, I am Thankful to the Lord.

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Thankful Thursday 11/16/17

James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

*For safe travels for the Oldest Princess

*For a fun day irking with the Oldest Princess

*For my wonderful Prince who steps in and helps when I need him

*For the Youngest Princess getting to play a little in the first basketball game

*For the joy of watching the Youngest Princess cheer

*For a fun dinner out with my family

*For a quiet evening to work on a project after a loooong busy day

*For rest

*For time together for the whole family

*For little ones full of energy that bless my heart with their childlike faith

*For teamwork 

*For my girls sitting with me in church 

*For a great opportunity for the Young Prince

*For special times sharing and growing with ladies I love

*For people who show they care in big and in small ways

*For a much needed purchase, made possible by a generous donation

*For a fun evening with My Prince and the Youngest Princess

*For the Holy Spirit who guides me and helps me when my flesh is weak

*For the prayers of my Prince when I need backup 

*For being able to see the Youngest Princess cheer again

*For am answer to prayer

*For the privilege to help someone I love

*For a great book that is cutting me to the core and teaching me hard but much needed things

*For conversations that go beyond surface topics and drive me to think deeply

*For medicines that help the symptoms of allergies and allergic reactions 

*For hope

*For grace

*For health

*For laughter

*For unconditional love

*For God’s hand of protection for the Youngest Princess

For all these things, any many, many more, I am thankful to the Lord.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Thankful Thursday 11/9/17

Some of the things that I am thankful for this week:

*That my works (which are pitiful), do not save me, but that Jesus' work on the cross is my salvation

*A fun evening out with a friend

*Words spoken by the Youngest Princess that my soul needed to hear


*A good solid night's rest

*A week that went by really fast

*A relaxed day at home

*A great morning with lots of people I love

*Enough food so that I could have a second plate - after accidentally dumping my first

*People who care enough to let us know they care

*An extravagant gift from special friends

*A chance to celebrate a life long lived

*A great hug from a sweet lady along with words that warmed my heart

*A great lesson taught by a sweet student

*The privilege of watching the Youngest Princess cheer

*A reminder that I am not alone - even though Satan would have me believe that I am

*Heart to heart talks with both my girls

*People and situations that God has put in our lives that cause us to seek Him more, and grow to be more like Him

*Chances to teach my girls about dealing with others/life situations in a godly manner

*The Holy Spirit who leads, guides and helps when I depend on Him

*A job where I get to work with children that I love and help them to grow mentally and spiritually each day

*A chance to sit down with ladies I love and talk about how God worked in our lives through reading and applying His Word throughout our week 

*A hard working husband who is out of this world wonderful

*Encouragement from the Lord in many shapes and forms 

And these are just a few things that stood out this week.  There are innumerable more things that I could add to the list.  God is SO good!  And I am thankful for all of His many, many blessings!

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Thankful Thursday - November 2, 2017

*A very special note from a very special person  

*A sweet surprise left on our porch

*Words spoken that I will treasure in my heart forever.

*A time of fellowship with good friends

*An unexpected blessing

*A quiet night at home with my Prince and the Youngest Princess

We have so very much to be thankful for!  Blessing abound everywhere in many different ways.  Take time to count some of your blessings this week, and she how quickly they add up.

*A surprise pulled off without a hitch

*For an exciting evening for family members

*For a win for two hometown teams

*A restful day at home 

*For safe travels for the Oldest Princess

*For the chance for us all to be together even if for a short time

*Fun times with a good friend and some awesome kindergarten students learning about God's Word

*A friend who kept her word, got out of her comfort zone, and warmed my heart with her gesture of kindness

*A good service with two baptisms

*Lunch with my two favorite guys - My Prince and the Young Prince

*Good friends who are gracious and kind to offer help

*For rest for the Youngest Princess

*For a thoughtful gift that made my day

*For friends who pray when I call on them

*For God's hand at work

*For a service opportunity, and fun times with friends old and new

*For a long talk with the Oldest Princess

*For laughter with my family

*For meeting new friends and learning their life story 

*For a Championship for my hometown team

*For a couple of chances to encourage the Youngest Princess

*For the encouragement of friends

*For communication

*For an answer to prayer

*For a hope for the future

I am so thankful to the Lord for these things and of course many more.  His goodness is overwhelming!  Praising Him today for all He is, all He has done, and all He is going to do.