As our oldest daughter nears her 16th birthday, more and more of her friends are beginning to date. Although we do not believe in a magic dating age, we know that she is closer to the dating scene than she has ever been before. I have watched some of the boys that girls her age have decided to date. And several things have jumped out at me. Things I want her to be aware of before she spends too much and time and energy on any one certain boy. I want her to pick guys that are worth the picking. It will save us all much time and energy in the long run. So, in that spirit, I thought I'd do a little tongue in cheek blog about it. The following are in no particular order.
If you ever wish to date my daughter (I wrote the blog, so I am using pronouns like I, me, and my, but her father has pre-read and agrees with every word)...
*Do not take "selfie" pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror, with your hat on backward, your shirt off, and your underwear showing. This screams that you are full of...well...yourself. The young man that gets the privilege of dating my daughter, will be a young man who is not full of himself, but concerned with others. A young man who has a concept of the world outside of...himself. And while we are on this topic...know that I WILL do my research, and if any other distasteful pictures of you (pictures of your PRIVATE parts, pictures of you doing ANYTHING illegal, pictures of you making lewd gestures, pictures of you laying on an old girlfriend's bed, or lounging in her bedroom, just to name a few) show up, you are automatically disqualified. No need to even apply. We are looking for a young man of integrity. A young man who respects himself, and others.
*Do not intentionally misspell words in your social media messages. This is very disrespectful to every teacher who ever poured her life into yours to teach you how to spell things correctly. It insults the intelligence of your readers. And, it screams that you would rather "fit in with the "cool" crowd, than follow the rules of society." Thank you. There's the door.
We are looking for a young man who has the guts to do what is right (in both big and very tiny things), even when it is not the cool thing to do. So you do not qualify.
*Do not view sex is a recreational sport, rather than a God given gift to married people. Just keeping it real. If you have been sexually active. I will know. This one may be a little tougher to prove, but believe me, I have mad P.I. skills. And if you are, or have been, your reputation will proceeded you. End Game.
We are looking for someone who is man enough to have self control. A young man who respects God enough to trust that His way is not only the best way, but the only way.
*Do not spend hours on end playing video games, as if they are the most important thing in life, and you scream and yell, or fly into a rage when something happens to keep you from getting to the next level. If you do, you are out of touch with reality, have your priorities screwd up, lack social skills, and have anger issues. What even makes you think you have a chance?
We are looking for a young man who knows there is life outside of a video game. We are looking for a young man who wants to experience real life, not just live a fantasy life. We are looking for a young man who has time management skills. We are looking for a young man who gets mad about real life things that matter, and looks for more constructive ways to handle his anger, and fix his problems than throwing things and screaming and yelling.
*You must have a personal, active, authentic, growing relationship with the Lord. You must attend a Bible believing church on a regular basis. You must be actively involved in your church's youth group. If not, what makes you think you have a prayer?
We are looking for a young man who will lead his home well. A young man who will love and live God's Word. A young man who will keep his family in church and bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We know that if you love the Lord as you should, you will love our daughter as you should.
*Do not ever make comments about her body, or ask her to send you pictures of herself (prior to your wedding night, after the ceremony)...we will change her number immediately, defriend and block you from ever finding her on FB again, and keep you from having her new number. Yes. We have done it once. No big deal to do it again.
We are looking for someone who respects her inside and out. Not some hormone driven adolescent who is looking to satisfy his animalistic urges. No perverts allowed.
*Do not live off of your mom and dad. Do not carelessly break the things they work hard to provide for you, and then expect them to run out and buy you another one. Do not expect the world to be
handed to you on a silver platter while you sit on your duff all day. If you do...goodbye.
We are looking for a young man who knows how to work, and appreciates what it takes to make money . A young man who will work hard and provide for his future family some day. How will we know him? He's the one that has a job now. No job? No date with my daughter.
*Do not go on a rant on any social media outlet about any of your peers or authority figures. If you have, I am sorry. This is the end of the line for you.
We are looking for a young man who knows how to respect his peers and authority figures, even when they make decisions he does not agree with. We are looking for a young man who can take care of disagreements in a respectful and private manner, without engaging the gang mentality, and airing all his dirty laundry for the world to see, and dragging innocent bystanders into his fight.
*Do not get lazy with your grades. If you do, you get an F-.
We are looking for a young man who will do his best in the classroom, as well as the athletic field, or court. Again, we are looking for a young man who has the ability and drive to provide for his future family. If you don't show signs of this now, we are not going to pretend with you that it will just magically appear overnight. Show us some initiative, or go home.
*Do not lie to her, or me, ever. She may not pick up on it, but I have an uncanny ability to spot a lie a mile away. And while I may not let you know I know you are lying immediately...remember, this
is life, not baseball. The three strikes-you're out rule does not apply.
We are looking for a young man who will take responsibility for his actions. A young man who can admit when he is wrong, and face the consequences. A young man of truth and honor.
*Do not be a girly-man. There are way too many guys out there that do not know how to be manly men. Too many guys have gotten too much in touch with their feminine sides.
We want a young man who will be strong enough to protect our daughter should the need arise. We want a young man who likes to fix things, build things, hunt or fish. And speaking of fishing, be able to bait your own hook. If that's not how you roll, than there are plenty of other fish in the sea. My daughter is not the one for you.
So, there you have it. If you wish to date her, you know what we expect. And we hold the right to add to this list at any given time. And yes, I asked her to read this blog before I shared it with all of you. She gave me her blessing to hit the send button. So now, if you wish to date her, you know what she expects from you as well. If you do not fit the requirements, save your time and energy.
Her grandfather said, "Guys want a good girl, but all too often they don't want to to be the good (to the core of their character) guy that it takes to get a good girl." I have faith that there are still some guys out there that are willing to do what it takes. Guys that will be the answer to many a Mother's prayer for her daughter.